let it go

for once in my life, I wished that I live in the peninsular. I was on duty today for my graduation batch's truck promo, and I was sitting in the Territory's exhibition place when my friend told me there was a kitten outside.

without even thinking of putting on my shoes, I ran towards the specified location -which is thankfully just outside- and touched the kitten. T_T somehow I did feel happy but in the same time, regret and guilt overpowered me as well. When i saw the condition of the kitten, I felt very very sad. it has very gorgeous fur, and very cute paw color, but I just can't take it back home with me. I just can't. Its impossible to do so. i've graduated, and most probably I will get back to Sabah sooner or later, so who will take care of it? abandon it again? like hell, I couldn't do that!!! I don't even trust some certain animal shelter here. so what can I do?

nothing.

sometimes, I hate it when I experience something like this. it's very torturing. it really makes me think "why couldn't I just leave the kitten alone?! if only I didn't touch it in the 1st place!" T___T

I am gonna let it go now. there's no point of me feeling guilty and pity when I can't help the creature. just feeling itself won't get you anywhere. so for once in my life, I wish I stayed here.

let it go ifa, let it go. *exhale*

p/s is missing my cat so badly ;____;